HI, MY NAME IS.

4 Jan 2018

My first reaction to this article in Vulture about Eminem being on dating apps which my friend has sent me was that I don’t believe it. My exact words were: there are all these exclusive apps specifically for the rich and famous why would Eminem go plebe? My second words: I’m signing up (again).

Most people are taking issue with, and by that I mean quoting, the Grindr comments (an app designed for gay or bisexual hook-ups):

Do you date?

It’s tough. Since my divorce I’ve had a few dates and nothing’s panned out in a way that I wanted to make it public. Dating’s just not where I’m at lately.

When you were dating, how’d you meet people? Tinder?

I mean, yeah.

Are you being serious?

Yeah, Tinder.

Really?

[Laughs] And Grindr. I also used to go to strip clubs.

Is it true? Is he lying? Is he taking the piss? Is he still as homophobic as his lyrics once famously suggested? Or my favourite: is Eminem curious? (It’s not a secret, I tend to develop obsessions with “curious” men). Finally, why the hell did the interviewer not do any further digging on it? I imagine if it was me interviewing Eminem (work goals!) and he hinted he might or might not be “curious”, I would put all the rest of the questions back into my briefcase and do countless roly polies in this flowering field of the same question for the entire following hours (or however long interviews take).

To be honest, to me this reads like a joke. A problematic joke, yes, but not fatal. I don’t think Eminem should be written off for this comment, it doesn’t read intentionally homophobic to me. You? I am asking because when Eminem is concerned I know I need to be checked – I am very, very partial to Marshall Mathers. Not for, like, “inventing” rap, although I am in love with so many of his tunes (take it from a white person when you need opinions on rap music, right?), but I am partial to Eminem because he is that guy with a tortured soul, with problems and complicated relationships, a man who eventually came open about his troubles, who addressed and faced his troubles, who went to great lengths and became reclusive to avoid said troubles in the future. That man? The man who has legally adopted children whose parents were no longer capable to be there. THAT MAN? Well, as I was typing this I signed up on Tinder, with a profile pic of me in a bikini from 15 years ago, I f-cking hope it does the trick. SWIPE RIGHT, MATHERS!

A couple of weeks ago I watched Sir Elton John being a guest on The Graham Norton Show. Sir Elton and Eminem have been friends for many years, and he swears there’s not a homophobic bone in Eminem’s body. When Sir Elton and his partner David had their civil partnership ceremony Eminem sent them a present: two diamond encrusted cock rings. I love this as much as I trust Sir Elton knows how to judge a character.

The man who went on an incredible tirade against the Trump administration and white supremacy, I want to hope is not a homophobe.