22 NOV 2017

I put Sofia to bed and get into my own bed to write. You know when the last time I gave “productivity” in the evening a try was? Never. My thing is to go to bed early, with a book or a Netflix episode (though more like a binge), or a couple of pills if we’re talking about my past, to help me quietly transcend into Neverland. I had not once taken anything that needed work on to bed. It’s not my fault that “tomorrow” seems like as good a day to get sh-t done as any. But in the past three weeks I have been grappling with major paranoia about not having the posts ready in advance, so there we have it, me at 9pm in bed with a laptop, unable to shape-shift because positioning the laptop can only be done at a certain angle so that it’s comfortable to both hold it and type. I live for shape-shifting though, I am arthritic as f-ck. So, like, not ideal.

The writing structure is definitely getting into focus now, with most of the writing being done on weekends because Sofia is at her dad’s and I don’t have to deal with her physical presence. If I was to pinpoint the biggest challenge in my time management, taking care of Sofia wins hands down. And please no need to yell that she’s at school all day and I have should so much time, that is simply not the case and I am over arguing about it (hi, mum!). I spend half of every Saturday outside class doors of a theatre school she attends, only so that every hour, after each lesson, I can walk her off to the next class. I’ve been doing this for 4 years. In an attempt to regroup, I’ve begun using these hours to make phone calls to friends, especially those who don’t live in England. Reconnection and all that. Which is quite cool, because before starting this blog, I somehow didn’t have the time to get in touch with anyone, and now not only am I getting my friendships back, I am also, like, finding the time!

Another perfectly predictable challenge is coming up with the next week’s topics. Are all bloggers in the same boat? Just me? Just me and a couple of others? That said, I was more scared of this two weeks ago than I am now – there’s always SOMETHING, right? And if there is, I should be able to find it. It’s a mental struggle though.

So. With the three-week’s mark behind me, how many people do I tell Regret Everything exists? A handful, right? Out of that handful maybe one person will check it out. “Who’s your target audience?” I hear you say? Erm. Um. I don’t know? Someone like me, if they exist? Good luck with that. Thank you. I do know that even my mother isn’t interested in reading it. If I can’t get my parent to read it how do involve anyone else? If you can’t tell by the tone of my impeccable writing that it upsets me then I should tell you it does.

I’m still putting writing before any promotion. Even if no one reads (though please, Beyonce, I hope someone does), I still want to keep doing it. I love the new structure my days have taken, I love the pop-culture research, I love to blabber on, I love how irresistible the “I’m writing today” sounds.

The next bar is adding to the “Visuals” section.