15 Jan 2018

Last week was glorious. It was made glorious by Greta Gerwig, the screen writer and director of Lady Brid, which I still haven’t seen because in the UK it’s only coming out next month for God’s sake. Anyway, Greta is the first public figure, a Hollywood player, an Oscar contender who has finally stopped fumbling around Woody Allen’s (alleged) grossness and declared she won’t be working for him again. She has apologised to Dylan Farrow – Allen’s former step daughter and a long-time accuser of his inappropriate behaviour towards her when she was a child living with him under the same roof – for not taking the accusations seriously and proceeding to work on Allen’s movie To Rome with Love.

Woody Allen’s privilege and power have not only got him off the hook during the dubious process of the dubious investigation but also played an essential part in keeping his reputation as a cinematic genius intact, even well past its due date. Is it because growing up in the communism Russia meant the exposure to Western cinematography was non-existent that I have never, not in the past and not up until today, boarded the Woody-Allen-is-extraordinary train? I’m going to have to say that it’s a good bet that’s the case, because hand on heart I am yet to feel the awe about anything he has produced. I hear it’s his old works that are seen as revolutionary but because I don’t care for old films I will only be able to judge by the “now”, which is why I find it so hilarious how serving everyone is around him because oh my god the “now” is sh-t. And repetitive sh-t at that – every single story is the story I’d heard before, in fact I hear the same story once a year because that’s how often he makes his movies. Seriously, who directs a movie a year?

This was my preamble and a personal argument to challenge ALL THE ACTORS who keep banging on and on and on and on how incredible, undisputable, unique and spectacular Woody Allen’s visions are. Kate Winslet comes to mind first, of course, and I have written about her here. In her letter, Dylan Farrow calls out other famous names but the list is far from all those who keep agreeing to work for the talentless creep. Yes, Timothee f-cking Chalamet, the not-so-pure love of my fantasy life, and Selena Gomez – I am looking at you and I am not forgiving. I hope these two get grilled on their “career move” during every single interview they have moving forward. Ugh, the young generation is as un-woke as the old one and will there ever be progress?

Maybe Greta Gerwig can start it? Finally, after decades of fumbling about and fretting and fidgeting at the mentioning of Allen’s child molesting accusation, an actress and now herself a critically acclaimed director got the f-ck up and produced a thought-out apology for being part of a string of many who either didn’t believe the victim or rationalised the existence of the accusations or closed their eyes on the situation altogether. Greta f-cking Gerwig has come correct and stated that she believes Dylan whose account of what happened and her courage to bring to justice one of the most powerful people – I will never tire of saying how I DON’T UNDERSTAND! – deserve trust and respect. Time’s Up not just for everyone excluding Allen – the bizarre tendency I will not wrap my head around – time’s up for him, too. Praise be?

Because a few days later Greta was joined by Mira Sorvino. Mira has starred in Allen’s Mighty Aphrodite (1996) for which she has received an Oscar. I mean, I guess, beautifully swept up in the Time’s Up movement she woke up one day and said to herself: F-ck it, I’m doing this and I am saying all I’ve been afraid to say up to now. I salute you, too, sister. Again, this is such a well-versed apology that, while acknowledging feelings, focuses on behaviour and how, despite said feelings, the behaviour was wrong. I bloody love a good apology – they are the unicorns of the free world.

As for the argument that what differentiates Woody Allen’s case from the gazillion others that have recently come to light is that there is only one (official) accuser, I would love to hear more about why one shouldn’t be enough. ONE SHOULD BE ENOUGH. I imagine if Sofia confided in me that a man has “put his thumb in her mouth”… I mean… My priority wouldn’t be running around looking for other little girls to whose mouths he might have done the same. Would yours?